The regional Catalan police, Los Mossos d’Esquadra, have confirmed that they stopped a new driver last month when he was travelling at 175 kms/hour on the C-14 road in Reus. The road had a 100 kms/hour limit on the stretch. The speedy teenager also tested positive for alcohol and cocaine. And to top it all the police also confirmed that he was driving without a seat belt.

Putting the charges together the new driver will find 21 points removed from his licence. Rumours that he was auditioning for the position of the Local Connection delivery driver, or Alonso’s new team mate were flatly denied.

The Murcia High Court of Justice has stopped a marriage between a woman and a transsexual, after it came to light that the couple were born as sisters. La Opinión de Murcia reports that one was given up for adoption as a baby and that they only met later on in life after one had gone through a sex change operation. Neither had any idea that they shared the same mother, a fact which was only discovered by a clerk at the Civil Registry. Marriage between siblings was considered a criminal offence until 1978 and is now banned under article 47 of the Civil Code. Although they do says that the family that plays together, stays together.

Real Madrid president Ramon Calderon was detained at US Customs because his first last name (Spanish and a number of other countries names have two last names, the father’s first last name and the mother’s first last name) was the same as a drug cartel leader. The confusion came because his surname figured in a blacklist held by the immigration service. Calderon was visiting New York to attend the opening of the Opera season with his wife. "Of course, I told them a thousand times I wasn’t the person they were looking for. I told them I was president of Real Madrid, but they wouldn’t listen"

Calderon added: "The only concern I had was my wife and I would miss the Opera. But we managed to get to the theatre five minutes before it began. We had dinner with Placido Domingo, a great Madridista, afterwards and joked about the incident."

Of course, we know the real reason that they hassled him at US customs was for selling Beckham to LA Galaxy. Now the Yanks have to put up with Posh!

Spain’s national airline don’t know the difference between a Siamese and a Samsonite. Iberia airlines has been ordered to pay €711 after they lost a cat on a journey between Barcelona and Ibiza. The company had previously agreed to pay the cat’s owner the grand sum of €6.40 in compensation, the same amount as if the cat had been a suitcase. La Vanguardia reports that the cat’s owner, Cristina Guasch, was horrified to see the animal’s cage going round the baggage claim belt open and empty. The mother of the missing cat, however, had arrived safely in a separate cage.

‘An airport worker told me that they had seen the cat loose in the airport. I was looking for him for hours’, said the owner. Despite it being the first day of her holiday she decided to return to Barcelona with the older animal.

The next month she got a phone call from an airport worker in Ibiza saying the cat had been seen again. She flew back to Ibiza and saw her pet, but it was in a restricted security area she could not reach, and the cat escaped, never to be seen again.

Cristina took the case to court and won at the end of 2006 – but only € 6.40 for the cat, which was considered to be a lost suitcase. Iberia refused to pay the €180 which the two subsequent flights costs, and also refused to pay €6,000 clamed in compensation.

‘The owner’s other cat can have more kittens to remove the pain the loss has caused’, claimed the (obviously dog-friendly) airline. On appeal the judge awarded Cristina be paid an additional 500 € in compensation, plus the 180 € for the tickets of the second trip.

Calm down at the back. I said Thespian. The rumours of romance between two of Spain’s top actors, Javier Bardem and Penélope Cruz, has been confirmed with photos of the couple together in the Maldives. Hola! Magazine put them on the front page, and said that they spent a quick ‘but intense’ (sounds familiar) weekend in a private bungalow after being in New York together on a promotional visit. The couple were on screen lovers many years ago in the Bigas Luna film, Jamon Jamon in 1992. The Local Connections film buff tells me that Javier Bardem is best known for his award winning role in Mar Adentro, while Penélope Cruz is best know for her role as Tom Cruise’s girlfriend.

With Christmas coming up, I’m rather partial to a glass of cool Jerez, or perhaps a cream sherry to go with the first mince pies of the festive season. Over in the States, however, they like to do things a little differently. A Texas woman has escaped being charged with negligent homicide after she killed her husband with a sherry enema. Tammy Jean Warner had been scheduled to go on trial over the death of Michael Warner, but Brazoria County District Attorney Jeri Yenne said the charges had been dismissed due to a lack of evidence.

She said the dead man had had a "severe alcohol issue" and it was not clear his wife had committed a crime. "Let’s say I have lung cancer and I continue to smoke. If you provide cigarettes to me, is that negligent homicide?" Ms Yenne asked.

According to a post mortem report, Mr. Warner had been given an enema containing enough sherry to produce a blood alcohol level six times the legal driving limit. At the time his wife was indicted, Lake Jackson police detective Robert Turner said Michael Warner was a longtime alcoholic who sometimes used enemas to get drunk because a medical condition made it painful for him to drink.

Warner claimed her husband had been addicted to enemas since he was a child. She said he often used alcohol in that manner to get drunk. A sad case of making a total drunken arse of yourself.