In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s sale time here in Spain, as it is in the UK. This is not news. Nor is it unexpected. So why, pray tell, do various official bodies in the latter location take it upon themselves every year to waste their time and our patience by issuing nanny-state diatribes about possible overspending on unsuitable purchases, as if the January Sales were some horrendous plague newly arrived from Mars?
We (women that is) all know perfectly well what sales are and, as I’ve said before, most of us can translate the magic word ‘reduced’ into at least seven languages. We also know that occasionally, boring old common sense tends to retreat into the shadows for a while at the sales, and I’m sure no-one needs any self-styled, self-important ‘expert’ to tell us this.
 In any case, overdoing it in the sales is all part of the ritual – not to mention Ebay’s profits when we subsequently try to unload the shopping disasters via the internet because even the charity shops say ‘no’.
  It’s an annual tradition to spend too much and buy stupid things in the January sales, following neatly on from over-eating at Christmas and imbibing too copiously in order to welcome in the año nuevo.
 But something I read recently really takes the biscuit for sanctimonious twaddle. Simply because it IS January, the psycho-babblers have jumped on the bandwagon this year and are endeavouring to convince us that we are in mortal danger of contracting ‘shopping addiction.’
Apparently, wait for it…….shopping addiction is – and I quote – ‘an overwhelming urge to shop.’ Wow. I’d never have guessed. Doubtless some learned scientific mind spent countless hours – and earned a considerable sum of money -- working this one out.
 But if this is so, then ‘shopping addiction’ has been around since time immemorial. I bet even Wilma Flintstone had an ‘overwhelming’ compulsion to stock up on loincloths for Fred come sale time.
However now, apparently, we need to be told what it is and – of course – how to resist it. As if we want to!
  According to the advice: “Therapy for this condition would consist of finding the affective gap and work it through. The objective is to break the vicious circle, and help people understand that they already have what they are looking for. They only need to identify it.”
 Oh yes? Obviously they don’t comprehend the subliminal power of shoes or handbags. Of course we haven’t got what we’re looking for – otherwise we wouldn’t flock to the shops in search of the elusive missing example in a particular colour/texture/material. It’s got nothing to do with ‘affective gaps’ (whatever they are) or vicious circles – it’s a basic primeval urge which dates back to the Garden of Eden. I can’t imagine Eve would have passed up the chance to seek out a cut-price fig leaf in a different shade of green.
  According to the scientist involved in churning out this latest rubbish, becoming addicted to shopping (aka going to the sales) can have serious consequences.
Too b****y right it can. Divorce, no supper and definitely none of the other if the man is the sinner.  But for us? Merely the cold shoulder, a reprimand and perhaps a monumental sulk. So tell me, is it not worth it?
 He (it absolutely has to be a man, right?) also advises: “If it is convenient, go out of the shop and come back in later on, to allow 20 minutes in between the time the urge to shop comes on, and the time you buy. This will help control impulsiveness.” OK. Fine. ‘Whatever,’ as the youth of today says.
 But it also means the object of our instinctive desire will probably be sold to another bargain seeker during the interlude, which means then that we will have to buy something else which we REALLY didn’t want in the first place, in order not to feel like total losers. And what does that achieve? We end up wasting our dosh on a second-rate substitute, instead of getting it right first time. (Now that’s a tempting subject for analysis).
 I think sales shopping is also to do with the thrill of the chase – it’s one of the few forms of hunting which hasn’t yet been banned. And the sweet satisfaction when you move in for the kill doesn’t even involve inflicting any form of physical pain – unless you include the elbow in the ribs of the poor unfortunate who looks as though they might beat you to your goal.
No, I reckon the only form of therapy needed in January is the retail kind. So get out there, girls, and bargain hunt. Spend, spend, spend.